How to help your child manage pre-match anxiety and post-match depression
Article by SG Basketball Coach Victor Tan
βΉπΌ Competition. The stage to showcase oneβs talents and ability. The very platform to earn praises and enjoy the satisfaction of raising the elusive finals trophy high up in the air. π
Yet, there is always a flip side to every coin. π Not all stories have a happy ending. There is always a second-place team in every final. Somebody has to take that L.
Your child happens to be on the losing team. He/she is drained physically and mentally. π€¦π»So are you, after an hour of lung bursting screams of encouragement and support. He/she is in tears, dejected and lost, possibly contemplating quitting the sport altogether.
πͺ An uncontrolled feeling of lethargy, low self esteem, sadness, helplessness, hopelessness, anxiety, encased in a dysphoric mood, etc.
π Letβs revisit the word βJourneyβ. One should expect not just a straight road but plenty of bumps and bruises, requiring navigation through curves and detours.
π Right from the onset, the child should be educated that winning and losing come in a package. Help your child learn to put things in perspective.
π Winning is an easy way to quantify success. It is also one of the greatest feelings on Earth. Yet, the child must be taught that LEARNING from the journey should be an admirable goal on its own.
π Enjoying and RELISHING the challenge of playing a match; that should be the correct way to guide the child to manage any anxiety pre-match.
πͺ Harness that anticipation and adrenaline. Use it positively without losing sight of enjoying the moment.
π Fast forward to the end of the match. Unfortunately things did not go too well at the match. π Here are 5 ways to help your child manage post match depression. The recovery stage commences now.
πDo not suppress the negative feelings. Let the tears flow. A cool down period for the child is highly recommended.
π¨βπ©βπ¦ Provide a strong family support system. A hug will be great now. Sit the child down for a heart to heart talk. Speak of the positives and negatives. No lecturing, just dialogue in its simplest form. In every match, either you win or you learn.
π€ Do not lose sight of the big picture. Approach the loss with insight. Do not let the loss undermine the efforts he has put in so far. Things are only going to get better.
π€£ Laugh... and have a good rest. Yes, laughter always invigorates the soul. Watch a comedy with him/her. A good nights sleep will rejuvenate that frail body and mind.
π¦ Sweat it out with purpose. Work harder in subsequent trainings. Listen more intently to the coaches. Learn better. The wins will come.
π₯ Like in every movie, there are highs, lows and plot twists. At the end of the day, with your support, your child will be able to survive this roller coaster ride of a journey. He/she will learn from the experience.
π¨βπ©βπ§βπ¦ This will help him/her understand life a little more, and what they take away from this will be beneficial for the child now and in future. The value of resilience, the power of family support, these are some of the things he/she will learn. And he/she will know that you are always there for him/her.
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About the writer: Coach Victor is a master coach in SG Basketball, who has won 19 national championships and 40 zone titles in Singapore over the past 20 years. He is an avid fan of the game and is highly articulate and detailed in his analysis of the NBA.